turkey sloppy joes

*trumpet fanfare*

Hear ye, hear ye! The Dumbass GourMetpron has arrived!

A bit late, but always fashionable.

Blogfriends, there has been so much going on lately, which is a poor excuse for depriving everyone of Dumbass Gourmet but is nevertheless the truth. I’ve been learning to teach and securing a freelancing gig and getting my arse handed to me at fitness boot camp that meets at six in the morning and networking like you wouldn’t believe so I can get a job, and somewhere in all that it occurred to me that we never had sloppy joes when I was a kid. Not one single time. I’m not sure why this is — Daddy, help me out here — other than that maybe sloppy joes weren’t in my mother’s Betty Crocker repertoire and the stuff in a can was too gross/expensive to buy.

Great. Now the Manwich theme song is looping in my head. At least it replaced the permanent repeat of Adam Sandler’s “Lunch Ladyland.”

A lot of the recipes online list sloppy joe ingredients as ground beef, ketchup, mustard, sugar, relish, and the like, but I don’t get up at the crack of dawn to do high-knees, curls, lunges, squats, and what-have-you just to throw it all away on one little dinner. One suggested slopping some beer into the mix, but I prefer mine on the side:

Don’t mind if I do!

A little more searching led me to Rachael Ray, who — although she spells her name wrong — had a recipe for turkey sloppy joes with tomato sauce. A little onion and garlic, a pinch of Mrs. Dash, some brown sugar and Spatini, and we had sloppy joes on toasted hamburger buns with French fries!

Slop, sloppy joes!

I just had another one for lunch/dinner (Linner? Dunch?) and it was quite good. Being unemployed gives one a new appreciation for leftovers, I suppose. My Sims are making all sorts of delicious things on the Sims 3, and I have been inspired by their little Simlish praises to give ratatouille and/or carbonara a shot. Stay tuned!